The Long Answer
I’ve worked in abortion care for years and one thing I’ve learned is that abortion is WAY more common than most people realize—and yet, it’s still loaded with stigma, silence, and internalized shame. Why? Abortion is common, but that doesn’t mean it’s simple. For some people, the decision to have an abortion comes with feelings of relief and clarity. For others, they may carry feelings of grief, guilt, confusion—or nothing at all. Some aren’t even sure if they want to talk about it, but feel like it’s lingering.
In therapy, you shouldn’t have to explain your decision, perform your healing, or apologize for how you’re feeling (or not feeling). There is no “right” way to process it. . All of this is normal. And all of this is welcome.
If Your Abortion Was Traumatic
Sometimes it’s not about the abortion itself—it’s the context, the system, or the way you were treated. Maybe you experienced medical trauma. Maybe you felt unsupported or coerced into your decision. Maybe you are trans and the care you accessed was not inclusive. Maybe it brought up old sexual trauma or stirred up memories from a previous pregnancy loss. Sometimes our experience has nothing to do with the decision itself and more to do with what it’s attached to. You’re allowed to name that too. You don’t need a diagnosis or clear narrative to deserve support.
You’re Allowed to Bring It Up—Even If:
You’ve had multiple abortions (yes, that’s okay—and no, that does not make you a bad person!)
You were unsure about your decision
It was years ago but it feels unresolved
It wasn’t traumatic at the time but something shifted later
You’re a parent
You don’t feel sad (and you’re worried someone might judge you for that)
How Counselling Can Support You Before or After an Abortion
Before an Abortion
Pregnancy Options Counselling: understand all of your options—parenting, adoption, or abortion. It’s important to know there are different types of abortion procedures should you choose to go that route.
Values Clarification: explore what feels right for you, especially if you’re feeling pressure from others or your own internal conflict. Maybe you have cultural or religious beliefs that make navigating this decision more difficult for you.
Emotional Preparation: talk through what to expect before, during, and after the procedure—emotionally and physically. There is a lot of misinformation about abortion on the internet that is intentionally meant to scare you. Talking to a professional can help address your concerns and ensure the information you’re getting is accurate.
Safety Planning: if your pregnancy involves intimate partner violence or reproductive coercion, counselling can help you build a plan for your safety and autonomy.
After An Abortion
Processing Emotions: whether you feel relief, grief, anger, or indifference—your feelings are valid Therapy can help you hold all of them.
Addressing Stigma and Shame: therapy can help you unpack the beliefs you may have internalized about yourself and your decision.
Relationship Impact: if your abortion affected your relationship(s), therapy can offer support to talk about boundaries, communication, or coping with disconnection.
Reclaiming Your Body: for those with a trauma history, abortion can activate deeper somatic or emotional layers. Therapy can help you reconnect to your body with care and consent.
A Note of Caution About “Pregnancy Care Centres”
If you’re looking for support after an abortion or while considering your options, it’s important to be mindful where you seek care. Some organizations—often called pregnancy care centres or crisis pregnancy centres —present themselves as supportive or “pro-choice”, but are actually operated by anti-abortion groups.
These centres may:
Give misleading or inaccurate medical information
Use shame-based tactics
Delay access to time-sensitive services
Discourage or pressure you away from abortion
Not all support is created equal. You deserve care that is non-judgmental, evidence-based, and truly centered on your autonomy.
If you’re unsure about a service, look for:
Licensed professionals (such as therapists, social workers and physicians). It is okay to ask a professional if they are pro-choice before meeting with them.
Clear language about supporting all pregnancy options.
Transparency about the organization’s values and affiliations
Abortion is one of the most common medical procedures in Canada. Therapy should be a place where you don’t feel like you need to censor parts of yourself or your story. Whether you’re looking for support in making a decision, healing from a recent experience, or unpacking an abortion that happened years ago, your story deserves to be held with care and compassion.
✨ Ready to talk? Let’s keep the conversation going. I offer trauma-informed, pro-choice, and affirming care for folks navigating abortion. Visit our Contact page to reach out.